George, this is an encouraging response, you support all your assertions with examples and statistics. You do need to take care with the level of formality used in your writing as the use of direct address to the reader is not suitable for an essay.
There is however a clear sense of argument and opinion, this could be enhanced through the use of more terminology, for example when discussing audiences you should use the correct terms for the various categories (look at my lesson ppt for further advice).
Think about how you could develop your argument by mentioning the awards won by the films trailer yet the apparent lack of visible marketing.
Well done though George, this is substantially better than your peers.
George, this is an encouraging response, you support all your assertions with examples and statistics. You do need to take care with the level of formality used in your writing as the use of direct address to the reader is not suitable for an essay.
ReplyDeleteThere is however a clear sense of argument and opinion, this could be enhanced through the use of more terminology, for example when discussing audiences you should use the correct terms for the various categories (look at my lesson ppt for further advice).
Think about how you could develop your argument by mentioning the awards won by the films trailer yet the apparent lack of visible marketing.
Well done though George, this is substantially better than your peers.